written by Ron Panzer
President, Hospice Patients Alliance
(voicing what family members throughout the USA have expressed to us after being banned in situations similar to what has been reported to be happening in Georgia at this time, where a nonterminal patient was forced into hospice, in an effort to impose death on that nondying, but ailing patient, Mae Magouirk. I have not spoken directly with the family of Mae Magouirk to ask them how they feel after being banned, and they have not seen or approved this message, but this is an attempt to express the anguish and heartache that I believe they are suffering.)
April 13, 2005
You banned me?? What?
I can't believe it! She is my own sister!
How could you possible prevent me
prevent me from seeing my own sister
in the hospital, in the hospice, in the nursing home?
She is blood of my blood;
we grew up together, played together,
shared so many times together!
We fought together and forgave each other.
I am like the left hand and she is like the right!
and you prevent us from seeing each other?
You dare to ban me from seeing my own blood relative?
I want nothing for myself!
I don't want money, or house, or possessions.
I just want to see my sister! my own sister.
We bought you gifts when you were small.
We hugged you and complimented you
on how much you've grown.
We watched and admired your achievements,
how you've blossomed into a young woman, and how you've
Come to have your own life and career.
But now! You have decided? You know?
You are to pronounce life or death upon our own?
You banned us for trying to save our sister?
prevented us from seeing the one we love!
After we traveled hours to see her,
You ordered security guards to prevent us,
stop us, show us the door?
We ask for nothing but the best for her.
You ask that she die.
We ask for fairness, for mercy.
You ask that she die.
You put into motion a process to have her killed,
denying her life-giving water and food!
We begged to allow her to live!
We know that there is a time for all of us to pass on,
a time to let go, when death comes naturally,
but this is not the time,
So how dare you decide!
Are you God? Do you think you are God?
We know that God gives life and God takes life.
But you have decided?
You dare take to yourself what only God should decide?
What are you thinking? How could you?
And you have banned us, ... us! ...
your own family! her own family!
You show us neither fairness nor mercy!
Shame! Shame on you!
Is this the practice of love and kindness
That you and all of us have been taught?
I don't think so!
Shame! Shame on you!
Mercy! Have mercy on her!
Save us in this dark hour,
Save us in our time of need!
[Note: We at Hospice Patients Alliance regularly hear of cases where one family member has taken to themselves the power to withhold care, to hasten death of a family member, to "wield" hospice to assure death, and often against the wishes of the other family members.
Often, most often, the person with the power, who has sought out that power and clings to it fiercely, stands to inherit house, savings, and many other assets.
Even when the other family members beg for mercy, the one with the power refuses to budge even one inch. The one with the power will stop at nothing but death, and fight tooth and nail to assure death to the vulnerable. Nothing else satisfies them. Why?
Is it the money they most probably will inherit? Very likely.
Is it because they really believe that the vulnerable person is "better off dead?" Maybe. Sometimes they just really don't care.
How a family member could possibly ban other family members from seeing their loved one is unspeakably mean, cruel, rotten! Designed to cause as much pain as possible. Thoughtless, heartless, cold.
I speak here for those who, because they are pleading for mercy, may not have the opportunity to express the deep hurt, the pain, the wound they feel from being banned from seeing their own loved one.
The ones with the power, power of attorney, conservatorship or guardian, regularly misuse their power and order security guards, police, nurses, social workers and administrators to assist in their plan, to assist in the machinations of dealing death, like a deck of cards. Mechanically, with a certainty, unavoidably.
In order to create the flimsy "appearance" of a justification for their mean actions, family members are often accused of being "disturbing," "aggressive," "violent," "a threat to the safety of staff" or "a threat to the patient." And staff members, nurses, social workers, or administrators who agree with "the agenda," the unnamed, unspoken agenda, record in the medical record that the family wishing to visit, the family wishing to save the victim, is disruptive, etc., to create a legal "record," (lies) falsely recorded to justify the banning of the loving family members.
The reality is these family members just want to hold their loved one, kiss their loved one, help their loved one, protect their loved one, be there for their loved one, in a time of need. How dare anyone ban the family members from seeing their loved one!
It is evil! Vicious!
There are no excuses for such mean-spiritedness.
Whenever I see family members "banned," I know that evil is walking among us, disguising itself as "compassion in dying."
Whenever I see family members "banned," I know that evil is walking among us, disguising itself as "choice in dying."
Whenever I see family members "banned," I know that evil is walking among us, disguising itself as "death with dignity."
Evil decides to deal death when God has not taken it to Himself!
Only evil would impose death upon the helpless who are not dying. We have seen this before!
And some (trying to confuse us, distract us, disempower us) say: "do not judge."
The only reason they say, "do not judge," is to stop us from acting, and to allow them to continue in their evil actions!
I was taught something else as well: "you shall know the tree by its fruit!" Well, the fruit of an evil tree (or chosen action) is evil and works constantly against life, against love, against mercy. As time passes, there is every opportunity for each of us to show love, to show mercy, to support and care for life, and not to kill. And the choices we make reflect what is in our hearts!
If we do not show love, do not show mercy, do not show kindness and understanding to all, then we are known for what we are, though we may try to hide it from others, through secrecy, by banning others from seeing what we do.
Well, it is long past time that we thought, perceived, evaluated and yes, judged! We are to judge the actions of others and we are to do everything possible to prevent harm to the vulnerable. We are to intervene when we can!
And yes, only God can judge our souls. We don't have to even try to do so. There is more than enough in this world to think about and to do, than trying to judge others. But we can judge actions and the results of actions. And we can choose to act in a way that honors the lives of the vulnerable, that supports them, cares for them, shows them we love them.
Evil-minded pretenders speak of their high-sounding principles of "justice," "beneficence," "autonomy." And they give lengthy and phony assertions about how much they "care" ... how they are motivated "for the betterment of society." They use sophistry to make others believe they have thought it all out, that they have "the answers," that they know better than most and should be trusted with the life and death decisions for everyone in our society.
They set themselves up as the experts. They have conferences to agree with each other about their beliefs. They validate the "learnedness" of the other members of their own cult of death. They call themselves "bioethicists," as if that makes them more able to decide who should live and who should die. But they won't tell you they are secular ethicists. And being an "ethicist" does not make them "ethical!"
They pat each other on the back, congratulating each other on how well-accepted they all are academically. They grab power to themselves, and are willingly given that power by our elected officials. They make sure to take that power to decide away from any who would honor life! Any who affirm a faith in God are labeled outcasts and primitive, backward, bigoted!
Most of them will not tell you what or who they really are. But we need to understand what is bioethics, in order to understand what they will do! They will not tell you that they are simply advocates of a utilitarian, anti-life culture that is ready to dispose of lives, even your life if the time comes when they deem it to be unworthy, useless, and even damaging to society! Yes, "damaging to society!" Why? Because you or another person have become "useless eaters," a term used by others long ago. They have no problem wasting money on industries they approve, while denying services to those who need our help. They wish to efficiently manage care, by denying care to some and giving care to others. They have no problem with those who greedily grab millions of dollars to themselves, while casting off the lives of the helpless without so much as a thought.
"Useless eaters!" a term used by the National Socialist Party of Germany during the Third Reich; only we called them Nazis, and they have never gone away. They just have gotten slicker and have inserted their philosophy into every nook and corner of our health care system! They have achieved their goals. They have changed the thinking of America! They have an agenda, and will not tell you! They have an agenda, and you have swallowed a huge part of what they have to sell!
We should know better! We should know, because we have seen this all before! How short our memory is. How easily we forget the horrors of others who thought the same way!
We know there is no justice, no good will, no good for society, no rights, without first honoring the life that is before us in each individual. There is no justice, there is no good for society, there are no rights, without loving, caring, and serving the lives of those individuals before us, throughout our days, till there is nothing more for us to give.
Our lives, if they are to be truly worthy of the one who created us, must include sacrifice ... sacrifice that brings gratitude and love into the hearts of those served as well as those who serve. If there is no gratitude in both the served and those who serve, if there is no love in the hearts of both the served and those who serve, if there is no "connection" between both those who serve and those who are served, then it is not the way, it is not right. It does not honor the lives of the vulnerable. It does not honor the professions of nursing or medicine.
As a civilized society, as a humane society, we can only feel outrage, when family members are BANNED from seeing their own loved one! It is wrong, horribly wrong! And we know why it is done. The darkness of some cannot stand to receive light, cannot stand having others look at what it does, and is infuriated when we dare to ask "why?" or "how could you?"
Banned! ... because you care!
- Ron Panzer]